Definition
We feel entitled when we believe our needs deserve priority and the rules apply to others, but not us.
>> Why We Have This Emotion
Entitlement is a miscalibration of self-worth, mistaking our desires and preferences for what we deserve. It casts everyone else as a supporting character in a play centered on us.
◈ How It Shows Up
I shouldn't have to deal with thisImpatience with ordinary waitsSurprise or irritation at being treated like everyone elseAssumes exceptions before askingOthers' needs register as obstacles
◎ What to do in the moment
Good Ideas
- Ask whether the same expectation applies to others
- Notice the gap between "I want" and "I deserve"
- Say thank you for things you'd normally just expect
- Practice a wait you'd usually try to skip
- Check whether you're asking or just assuming
- Acknowledge when someone else's need is as valid as yours
Bad Ideas
- Treat "I want this" as "I deserve this"
- Make your impatience someone else's emergency
- Assume exceptions without asking for them
- Dismiss others' needs as obstacles to your plan
- Confuse earned respect with unconditional priority
- Escalate when the world doesn't bend