Definition
We feel Gluckschmerz when another person’s good fortune triggers our own irritation, resentment, or pain.
>> Why We Have This Emotion
Gluckschmerz isn't a common term, even in German. It signals that we have deeply unmet needs. Our contempt, envy, and antipathy toward someone have reached a maximum.
◈ How It Shows Up
“Their win stings”Flinch at their successFake smile, sour gutNitpicks their achievementAvoids their good news
◎ What to do in the moment
Good Ideas
- “What needs of mine feel unmet?”
- “Their wins don't reduce my worth”
- Congratulate them briefly, without over performing or faking
- Talk honestly about your envy with a therapist or trusted friends
Bad Ideas
- Trash their success to others
- Smile publicly, but obsess privately
- Turn interactions into a competition
- Treat their wins as your defeats
- Change your life out of pure envy
- Cut them off without explanation