Definition
We feel regret when we look back wishing we had chosen differently and gotten a better outcome.
>> Why We Have This Emotion
Regret highlights our faulty choices so we update our rules, avoid repeating our mistakes, and repair harm we've caused, where possible. It can improve our future decision-making processes.
◈ How It Shows Up
“If only I’d...”Looks back, wincesStomach sinks, replay loopWants a redo buttonAvoids the reminder
◎ What to do in the moment
Good Ideas
- Name the decision you regret
- Apologize sincerely to those harmed
- Make a specific repair if possible
- Extract one lesson for next time
- Set a clear rule for future actions
- Accept some things can't be fixed
- Pause before reacting
Bad Ideas
- Ruminate endlessly on your actions
- Hide from those your harmed
- Make vague apologies
- Force others to forgive you
- Blame your circumstances
- Punish yourself forever
- Confuse regret with identity