Definition
We feel self-righteous when we're certain we're right, and that gives us authority to judge everyone who isn't.
>> Why We Have This Emotion
Catching moral errors in others triggers a real neurological reward for us. Self-righteousness is chasing that reward for its own sake, where we're more concerned with being right than helping others.
◈ How It Shows Up
I can't believe they would do thatEye-roll, sigh, slow head-shakeExplaining without being askedStrong urge to correct or redirectA quiet satisfaction in the verdict
◎ What to do in the moment
Good Ideas
- Ask what you actually know about their situation
- Notice whether your judgment was invited
- Check if this is really your call to make
- Separate "I disagree" from "they're wrong"
- Ask what need the judgment is serving
- Reserve your energy for what actually affects you
Bad Ideas
- Offer corrections nobody asked for
- Make your moral position someone else's problem
- Assume context you don't have
- Use it to feel better about your own choices
- Confuse your values with universal standards
- Preach when a boundary would do
- Mistake strong feelings for reliable information