>> Why We Have This Emotion
Sympathy helps us to understand and relate to someone else's experiences. In contrast, empathy pushes us past that point, to feeling the same feelings as others and to helping others.
◎ What to do in the moment
Good Ideas
- “That sounds really hard. I'm here”
- Name and validate their feelings
- Ask what kind of support they want
- Listen more than you speak
- Offer concrete help: meal, company
- Check in again later, briefly
- Notice your own limits in helping
Bad Ideas
- Rush to fix things, forcing advice
- “Oh, it could be so much worse”
- Center yourself in the conversation
- Dismiss pain with toxic positivity
- Pressure them to forgive quickly
- Gossip about their situation
- Use their suffering to feel superior